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AuthorComment
john777
Ultralisk
avatar
Posted: 7 May 2008
15:11 GMT
Total Posts: 289
Hits 1h with frying pan.
darksideprogramming
Guardian
avatar
Posted: 7 May 2008
16:21 GMT
Total Posts: 1005
Also hits 1h with a lrn2usenewtopic stick... and it's a big stick.
Zachary940
Wraith
avatar
Posted: 7 May 2008
19:32 GMT
Total Posts: 714
Z940 throws a bus tub full of dirty dishes at john777. He then throws glasses at DSP.

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It is much easier to suggest solutions when you know nothing about the problem.
john777
Ultralisk
avatar
Posted: 15 May 2008
22:38 GMT
Total Posts: 289
John777 asks Z940 to look in that closet over there, and the entire contents of the closet fall on him. Also throws glasses at DSP.
haveacalc
Guardian
avatar
Posted: 17 May 2008
07:34 GMT
Total Posts: 1111
increments the stack pointer, destroying everyone.

---
-quoted directly from most movies that don't exist (and some that do).
tifreak8x
Administrator
avatar
Posted: 21 May 2008
18:08 GMT
Total Posts: 419
Grabs DSP by the ankles and beats everyone senseless.

---
Bringing you Pokemon, for your calculator.
darksideprogramming
Guardian
avatar
Posted: 3 Jun 2008
12:19 GMT
Total Posts: 1005
Thank goodness I was wearing my Kevlar. >_>

Removes Kevlar and bashes tifreak's face with it.
Vectris
Ultralisk
avatar
Posted: 3 Jun 2008
16:43 GMT
Total Posts: 375
Laughs at the improvement done to tifreak's face

then throws a ps3 at him
Zachary940
Wraith
avatar
Posted: 3 Jun 2008
17:48 GMT
Total Posts: 714
Z940 catches the ps3 and runs.

Throws his game boy at calcproductions for throwing a perfectly good ps3.

---
It is much easier to suggest solutions when you know nothing about the problem.
john777
Ultralisk
avatar
Posted: 3 Jun 2008
20:17 GMT
Total Posts: 289
trips Z940 and takes the ps3 and runs the other way. Clubing Calcproductions as he runs by.
tifreak8x
Administrator
avatar
Posted: 3 Jun 2008
21:51 GMT
Total Posts: 419
tifreak's skull is made of reinforced concrete, so no damage was done.

tifreak laughs about the ps3, presses a button on the detonator he was holding, and vaporizes john777. Everyone else is now poisoned with antimatter radiation. (except for me and DSP, because our extreme coolness protects us from such things)

---
Bringing you Pokemon, for your calculator.
allynfolksjr
Administrator
avatar
Posted: 4 Jun 2008
19:16 GMT
Total Posts: 1892
I win.

EDIT: LOLOLOLOLNO
haveacalc
Guardian
avatar
Posted: 4 Jun 2008
19:25 GMT
Total Posts: 1111
dodges the win and eats a sandwich.

---
-quoted directly from most movies that don't exist (and some that do).
Vectris
Ultralisk
avatar
Posted: 4 Jun 2008
21:02 GMT
Total Posts: 375
because of the radiation mutates into a giant monster and sends sludge at everyone, electrocuting the current holder of the ps3
john777
Ultralisk
avatar
Posted: 16 Jun 2008
18:55 GMT
Total Posts: 289
Clotheslines calcproductions and hits haveacalcs sandwhich with a baseball bat.

Homerun!!!!!!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhh!
Xero Xcape
Marine
avatar
Posted: 9 Sep 2008
08:09 GMT
Total Posts: 28
Sits upon his throne, that one with the button on it that makes it go up and down, well, only up, for some reason or another in order to get down you have to have someone else press that button on the 2nd pillar from the left. But he digresses. As he sits

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BASIC flames are for n00bs, you don't want to be a n00b do you? | My other calc is a Porsche.
Vectris
Ultralisk
avatar
Posted: 9 Sep 2008
13:12 GMT
Total Posts: 375
Detenates the planted mines on Xeros throne and in a cartoonish drop, he turns into the first human pancake. Also catches haveacalc causing the final out to win the game for the other team, yay! In a rush to the mound john777 is trampled to death...
Hydraliskisback
Wraith
avatar
Posted: 9 Sep 2008
17:01 GMT
Total Posts: 583
calcproductions rocks back in forth in his little dream that XX had been projecting in his mind, and hydra takes advantage of this situation and takes a rusted spoon and slowly hacks calcp's arms off.

yaaaaaaaaaay! (my crazy english teacher :D)

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Iff Hydralisk has posted the above, the above is stupid.
Xero Xcape
Marine
avatar
Posted: 11 Sep 2008
08:42 GMT
Total Posts: 28
You know, this is a horrid inflation of postcounts?

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BASIC flames are for n00bs, you don't want to be a n00b do you? | My other calc is a Porsche.
Vectris
Ultralisk
avatar
Posted: 11 Sep 2008
13:15 GMT
Total Posts: 375
Postcounts don't mean anything so that doesn't really matter. The only active users on this site know eachother well enough to not need to read eachothers post count to find who's experienced and who's not. And the only new users leave onced they have their questions answered. Besides, only people with already high post counts post here so your only adding feathers onto a pile of lead.

*drops pile of lead on X*
Haha
Xero Xcape
Marine
avatar
Posted: 12 Sep 2008
07:50 GMT
Total Posts: 28
I have 19, [ 20 after this ] posts here bud ;)

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BASIC flames are for n00bs, you don't want to be a n00b do you? | My other calc is a Porsche.
Hydraliskisback
Wraith
avatar
Posted: 12 Sep 2008
08:35 GMT
Total Posts: 583
thats cus you're just that awesome.

*drops 1,000 ton brick on calcproductions*

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Iff Hydralisk has posted the above, the above is stupid.
Vectris
Ultralisk
avatar
Posted: 12 Sep 2008
13:28 GMT
Total Posts: 375
Still post counts don't really mean much.

*uses epic hero strength (hey, I wrote an essay on that!) to lift up brick and then drops it in the ocean, sending a huge wave crashing down on HLIB
Hydraliskisback
Wraith
avatar
Posted: 12 Sep 2008
20:24 GMT
Total Posts: 583
no but what i think he might be slightly accusing some of us is using this to up our post count to make us seem important.
well i know im not important so pfffft.
XD
jk btw
you never can be too sure peoples intonations on the internet.

but anyway, hydras post count in pennies drop on calcproductions head from the empire state building.

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Iff Hydralisk has posted the above, the above is stupid.
Vectris
Ultralisk
avatar
Posted: 13 Sep 2008
16:20 GMT
Total Posts: 375
Calc grabs a nearby trash can and catches the pennies, he then buys a hot dog with them for $2.46. Yum, then he belches uber loud knocking down the empire state building with Hydra on top.

And I have like 5 posts in these wars so I'm not beefing up on them either.
Hydraliskisback
Wraith
avatar
Posted: 14 Sep 2008
12:40 GMT
Total Posts: 583
i barely get on these, but i love them cus these are fun and funny so that's my excuse.

Hydra uses his parachute to fall safely on top of calcproductions and then pulls out a rock and smashes his legs in.

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Iff Hydralisk has posted the above, the above is stupid.
zarg
Dragoon
avatar
Posted: 26 Sep 2008
13:52 GMT
Total Posts: 67
This is my first one, but they look very fun.
Zarg then grabs CalcP and beems him at Hydralisk

---
In most countries selling harmful things like drugs is punishable. Then howcome people can sell Microsoft software and go unpunished? (By hasku@rost.abo.fi, Hasse Skrifvars http://www.linuxweb.com/lw_quotes.html)
Vectris
Ultralisk
avatar
Posted: 26 Sep 2008
15:16 GMT
Total Posts: 375
Reverses the beem and comes straight back at zarg, trapping hydra beneath his feet while moving 2 gazillion miles per second back at zarg, who's in front of a brick wall thats 20 billion miles thick.
Hydraliskisback
Wraith
avatar
Posted: 26 Sep 2008
16:48 GMT
Total Posts: 583
but your legs are broken, so i break free easily, ripping them off in the process, hindering your 2 gazillion to a mere billion, and then in the process since your going faster than the speed of light, your particles become too hot and seperate and calcp is now an array of photons, which in 30 years will reappear as calcp who becomes the first man to successfuly perform the first part of the star trek symbol, yet fails to complete his jump to get to where he needs to be, thus failing.
miserably.
and hydra finally gets up from the writing down of these physics, and implants them into him and how has the ability to bend time and space.

zarg dies randomly as hydra pulls his fate string and cuts it.

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Iff Hydralisk has posted the above, the above is stupid.
Vectris
Ultralisk
avatar
Posted: 27 Sep 2008
19:01 GMT
Total Posts: 375
Put some weird spacial anomaly re-energizes calcp and he is put back together, but he has sludge powers now! yarg he sends radioactive sludge at everyone and destroys hydras work, also lights both ends of zargs string on fire, teeheehee
Hydraliskisback
Wraith
avatar
Posted: 27 Sep 2008
21:31 GMT
Total Posts: 583
technically if you put yourself back together now you have the power of- op i wont ruin that for you, discover that yourself by reading/watching "The Watchmen"

-calc p dies of cancer-

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Iff Hydralisk has posted the above, the above is stupid.
Vectris
Ultralisk
avatar
Posted: 27 Sep 2008
22:16 GMT
Total Posts: 375
But didn't you know that cancer is cured by injectin large amounts of cash into your body? (yay for southpark logic) Calcp is alive! but bankrupt...
zarg
Dragoon
avatar
Posted: 28 Sep 2008
05:33 GMT
Total Posts: 67
zarg laghts as hydro kills zargs puppet while zarg is hidding in a nuc bunker underneath hydro and tosses a nuclear grenade up at hydro, killing him instantly. The blast reaches calcp and gives him radiation possining. Without any money calcp looks doomed to failure.

---
In most countries selling harmful things like drugs is punishable. Then howcome people can sell Microsoft software and go unpunished? (By hasku@rost.abo.fi, Hasse Skrifvars http://www.linuxweb.com/lw_quotes.html)
Vectris
Ultralisk
avatar
Posted: 28 Sep 2008
10:15 GMT
Total Posts: 375
Calcps radioactive-awesomeness absorbs the radiation and feeds him...
Hydraliskisback
Wraith
avatar
Posted: 28 Sep 2008
11:12 GMT
Total Posts: 583
whoever hydro is, zarg just raped him.
however i, being hydrA, rips zargs body apart with many complex force maneuvers which he learned from the force unleased.
pwnt.

calc p dies of aids.

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Iff Hydralisk has posted the above, the above is stupid.
Vectris
Ultralisk
avatar
Posted: 28 Sep 2008
12:06 GMT
Total Posts: 375
Sells his soul to the devil and comes back to life, yay, or not... Sends evil demons to hit everyone with a sledge hammer.
Hydraliskisback
Wraith
avatar
Posted: 28 Sep 2008
23:48 GMT
Total Posts: 583
you have no power over demons if you sold your soul, they have power over you! demons turn and attack calc p because he thought he had dominion over them.

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Iff Hydralisk has posted the above, the above is stupid.
darksideprogramming
Guardian
avatar
Posted: 29 Sep 2008
06:08 GMT
Total Posts: 1005
You guys are silly.

Lord Mathias beats everyone senseless with a flail microphone.

inb4 Andy uses some other sort of instrument. >_>
Hydraliskisback
Wraith
avatar
Posted: 29 Sep 2008
07:50 GMT
Total Posts: 583
Hydra takes apart a drum set, flinging it at everyone in sight, saving the cymbals for razor-blade-like-frisbee to play target practice with calc productions.
calc p loses his head, both his arms, and his leg.


---
Iff Hydralisk has posted the above, the above is stupid.
tifreak8x
Administrator
avatar
Posted: 29 Sep 2008
13:55 GMT
Total Posts: 419
tifreak appears..

tifreak unleashes billions of fleas up on all of you, causing you to be too busy itching yourselves that you don't notice the dead rising to being eating all of you.

tifreak disappears..

---
Bringing you Pokemon, for your calculator.
Vectris
Ultralisk
avatar
Posted: 29 Sep 2008
16:00 GMT
Total Posts: 375
Calcp presses the Refresh button and gets a new life, which is in an alternate dimension. He picks up a large biscuit and throws it on top of everyone elses dimension, squishing it like a bug.
zarg
Dragoon
avatar
Posted: 29 Sep 2008
16:34 GMT
Total Posts: 67
But, tifreak8x has a large appatite and eat's the whole biscut. Unawhare that the biscate was gone calcp falls a sleep. Zarg then hits calcp with his guitar knocking him sensless. Hydralisk then joins the battering of calcp.

---
In most countries selling harmful things like drugs is punishable. Then howcome people can sell Microsoft software and go unpunished? (By hasku@rost.abo.fi, Hasse Skrifvars http://www.linuxweb.com/lw_quotes.html)
Vectris
Ultralisk
avatar
Posted: 30 Sep 2008
04:17 GMT
Total Posts: 375
Calcp switches to FireFox and everyone freezes as they are not compatible, muhahaha, then he "reformats" his harddrive by dropping a nuke on it
darksideprogramming
Guardian
avatar
Posted: 30 Sep 2008
05:30 GMT
Total Posts: 1005
A WILD TIFREAK APPEARS! ACTION?

Lord Mathias throws a pokeball at tifreak. You're mine now!
tifreak8x
Administrator
avatar
Posted: 30 Sep 2008
07:47 GMT
Total Posts: 419
Ha! You failed to use the 1337 master pokeball of awesomeness, which I have the only one evar built. So, you miss and capture a calcp instead.

tifreak calls upon his 1337 magicking skills, and casts thundaga on anyone not a master of sith powers. (which is everyone besides myself and DSP above)

---
Bringing you Pokemon, for your calculator.
Hydraliskisback
Wraith
avatar
Posted: 30 Sep 2008
09:13 GMT
Total Posts: 583
but wait, im using firefox. so you die calc p.
zarg explodes due to excessive typos and misspellings, and hydra wishes lunchbox or 3fg were here to fix them D:

hydra is actually a master of sith powers (Star Wars Force Unleashed, and is the Dark Lord Zentor, apprentice of the emporer on Star Wars Jedi Knight-Jedi Academy. so there) so is safe from tifreaks attack, and uses his geniousity to create new physics which only apply to Zarg and Calc P so that their bump mapping is actually the size of an 18 wheeler, thus they cannot go where a semi cannot go. Bwahahaha.

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Iff Hydralisk has posted the above, the above is stupid.
darksideprogramming
Guardian
avatar
Posted: 30 Sep 2008
11:39 GMT
Total Posts: 1005
Aw, come on, I don't want a calcp.

/me throws pokeball in a trash compactor.
Vectris
Ultralisk
avatar
Posted: 30 Sep 2008
15:38 GMT
Total Posts: 375
Calcp walks out of the trash compactor and is instantly adored by lots of hot girls for being such an uber small computer (if you didn't get the earlier puns then DIE).

Calcp exits out of the life game and comes back into the thread, yay.

Oh, and CalcP is the force, so don't even think about using me or you will receive 2 billion critical damage to yourself from backfire.
darksideprogramming
Guardian
avatar
Posted: 1 Oct 2008
06:12 GMT
Total Posts: 1005
One word: No.

Lord Mathias takes all aforementioned hot girls to his room. Giggidy.
tifreak8x
Administrator
avatar
Posted: 1 Oct 2008
07:41 GMT
Total Posts: 419
Too bad they are all guys that just want to be women, and DSP has had them in his room for quite some time. Oh the humanity of it all.

tifreak is immune to critical damage, and damage in general, and uses the force to throw calcp off the map.

---
Bringing you Pokemon, for your calculator.


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